That was a crack up, but surely you have seen " the Santa Clause". Everything is explained really well. Everything is done by magic, so Santa would not require that many reindeer, or that speed. He has the ability to create a time dialation somehow, to get around the world in one night. At least thats what I think or maybe he has a black hole coming out of his butt. This would explain a lot of how he does his job.
So did that diatribe come out of your mind or did you steal ( I mean borrow) it from someone else?
Anyway it was really funny and hopefully there aren't any kids here to lose the magic of Santa.
Afterall, it is a holiday to celebrate the birth of Christ not Santa. But that is a subject best left alone.
Happy holidays to you all and safe travel, watch out for big red lumps of goo falling from the sky.
Paul