1) If you change your options for "Message Editor Interface" to "Standard Editor", I think that's what you're looking for. You will then be able to see the bbcode tags. (I don't use the WYSIWYG editor option just for that reason. I like to see the bbcode as well.)
As for 2) and 3), which are related. That's a very good question. I'll have to get back to you on that one. I suspect vbulletin is designed around 'newest first' sorting, so everything is designed around that. But I'll have a look.
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