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Hang in there, Ken. As hard as it is, you're doing the right thing. Family comes first.
I looked after my father in his final years - over 3 years on and off then full-time/live-in carer in his last 6 months - interstate, too. It was exhausting at every level - physically, mentally, emotionally - and very costly. I also slept in the spare room - in fact it was on the same single bed I had when I was a kid, although by this time it was riddled with mould (I didn't know at the time), which explains the respitory problems.
The most important thing is to make sure your own support system is working and that you have someone (that you trust) with whom to share the burden.
I/we looked at a few care homes in the first year or so, but I wouldn't live in any of them myself (hell, no!), so didn't push the point with my father.
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