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Lots of options
I have a 12" Dob, a 10" Dob and a 110mm refractor. Each has its advantages. A 12" Dob is the handling limit for a fit, normal sized man. So, if you're a "petite" girl, it's too big. Unless ......... I fitted "wheelbarrow" handles and lawnmower wheels to my mount and virtually eliminated setup time and effort. Of course you need a concrete pad or timber deck, with concrete paths and no steps from the storage point. You can source DIY info for such setups on the internet.
A 10" Dob sounds like a better option. I got mine when my leg was amputated and I could no longer pull the 12" apart to get it into the car for travel to dark sky sites. My wife can (just) carry and assemble the 10". The 110mm refractor is, of course, easier to set up. But it would cost about twice as much as the 10" and doesn't have the same light-gathering power (which definitely can be used in a light-polluted city).
I would question the advantages of the collapsible Dobs. Yes, they can be broken down into smaller pieces, but this requires setup/dismantling time. Every minute of setup/dismantling time is a disincentive and hence I suspect it would thus be used less, unless you're very keen. Also, there may be issues with keeping dust off the mirror and they also cost a bit more than the solid-tube versions of the same scope.
As others have suggested, try to get a look at all the alternatives at a star party or at least go to a scope shop, where you can see the alternatives side-by-side. Good luck!
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