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Imagine it...it's a bright, sunny Canberra Day. The birds are chirping and the single Canberra girls are wearing mini skirts and take-me-home-boots...
Suddenly there comes a chugging sound like a demented steam engine. All eyes turn to see what foment this weird noise brings. The once musical birds have all flown frantically away. I stand and stare. Is it one of those "Skyhorn" phenomenon reported of late. The reverberations were gut-wrenchingly piercing. Was it the US doing their psy-ops on Canberra again?
A small green object comes into sight, seemingly defying the laws of locomotion. There appears to be 2 occupants in the odd green vehicle - one mesmerisingly attractive, chique and demure. The other a stark contrast - gnarled, grotesque and completely gauloise.
"Что за хрень этот ужас" I hear myself muttering (don't translate it), trembling in abject fear and loathing.
The primary occupant in control of the vehicle steps out...obviously sent as an emissary to mesmerise, stun and placate the local inhabitants. The sense of impending doom wanes a little, and I feel a smile creeping upon my face. This, alas, was not to last. A diversionary tactic.
"Bonjour Lewis, ou est mon CN212?" muttered the male occupant.
At this point, I lost consciousness, and I swear when I awoke that my haemorrhoids were gone.
And that is a true story.
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