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Hi Sheap,
I relate totally to your question. I have reasonably dark skies ~ 30km away from Canberra and a 10" dob. I have never seen spiral arms on a galaxy, including M83, much to my disappointment. I have collimated a great deal, yet the fact remains; no spiral arms. This web site is an excelllent one, the best I've found, but I've also found that other people's experiences have raised my expectations above my experience. The darker site will certainly help you, but don't set the expectations too high.
Don't give up, it's stacks of fun, but not aways quite as WOW
Bruce
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