Ruddy 'eck, Phil, that's a sad tale. I can only express my own opinion and that is that you've been a bit selfish. Yes, I know, I don't know your circumstance, but deliberately hiding purchases from your own wife? Sheesh.
I've been married for a bit (probably not as long as others on this site) but my wife and I always discuss purchases outside the normal day to day living expenses. Bloody hell, we are partners not antagonists. I'm sorry if your relationship has (or did) degrade to that extent.
Whatever, all the best for the future.
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