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Phil I worked in the family law office at Parramatta for a while (thats where I met my second wife) and I know the pain you must suffer as a result of the breakup... it is always sad and yes it rips the kids apart. Try and keep the Lawyers out of it (that advice is probably too late) you were friends once that plus the fact there are kids involved means you simply have to manage it the best you can for their sake.
Its no good remaining bitter or seeing her as some sort of demon as this will hurt you more... float up and above it all and stop biting on things that upset you and they will go away. Stay cool man it is the only way to break even and you will never get better than that.
Sorry to be so intrusive I just wanted to let you know there is someone who understands how parralizing it can be on one and to offer you some encouragement to get thru it.
best wishes for the coming get together with you and the kids.
alex
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