[FlashDrive (Poppy)]

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is,

I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a Zipper.

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'' My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind ''

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A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

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I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first left me and the second one didn't.

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Drinking beer doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean..... against bars,tables,chairs and poles

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I love deadlines, I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.

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I like work; it fascinates me, I can sit and look at it for hours

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I never got along with my Dad. Kids used to come up to me and say ' My Dad can beat up your Dad ' ... I'd say ' Yeah? When.????

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" I was so ugly at birth,the Midwife took one look at me, turned around and slapped my father "

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People who say they sleep like a baby, usually don't have one.

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If you want to recapture you youth, cut off his allowance.

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