Hi,
I think both replies you got earlier were based on the information you had provided, not the fact that anyone may think that you are "stupid".
Anyway
to the forum.
1mW may or may not be enough for your purposes, depending on how clear the air is above your paddock. It's a bit low compared to what we use in outreach. The wattage will also determine how far away from you the laser might be a problem to others. If your property is big enough, and no other stargazers nearby then it's probably a non issue. Change your site (your questions suggest you are considering at least 2 sites), and things may change there. At the low power end, the beam may be less obvious in light polluted skies. But others on here may be able to elaborate.
Re holding it to the eyepiece, many AltAz mounts and all dob mounts allow the scope to be moved by the tube or guide handle, using one hand and moving in both planes at the same time - yours isn't among them it appears. I assumed it was. My mistake, see first paragraph in this post. So the suggested method may not work for you...
Yes, RDFs work similarly to finderscopes but allow a bit more freedom as to eye placement as they don't magnify and don't have an optical tube (in the traditional sense) to peer through. Worth a try perhaps, as might be a finder whose eyepiece angle is 90° from what you use now. That could make a big difference.