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The word "compassion" comes from the Latin and it means "to suffer with". You are "suffering with" those people affected by this death.
There is nothing to feel ashamed about. I can easily empathize with others and would likewise get upset as you have. This is why I didn't join the ambo's. In a way you you being upset is a good thing: you are, by nature, the sort of person that other people want around them: someone who cares.
The right to be upset: I don't think you need a "right" to be upset. You care: you're going to be upset when things happen to those whom you love.
As for dealing with it, well, I've yet to experience that loss. Others older and wiser than myself will have to guide you there.
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