Hi Tim,
Great to see you have spoken up, this alone should be a huge step for you.
Yes I have been through this. Exactly as you described:
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I am questioning who I am, and what I am doing - who I am married to, my job (especially my job), you name it, I am questioning it.
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I was terribly depressed. For about a year it seemed whatever decision I made it was wrong and mostly ricocheted to bite me afterwards. So I stopped and made no decisions about anything if I could possibly help it for 6 months, just paid bills, did basic shopping and buried myself in work. But finally I woke up one morning with a firm resolution to change everything: I had asked myself do I want to be living unhappily for the next 10, 20+ years with the same person and with the same job and the answer ringing in my head was a resounding NO!
I really did change the lot - in late 40's divorced, did all the things I have long wanted to do with no-one to say no to me. I also switched to a new career and am now very happily remarried with a fine young boy. All in all a very costly exercise, but happiness is everything.