Tim, I suffered something similar also from about age 42. Around the time of my second child. Part of my issue was I went through a business breakup and lost a lot of daily contact with a heap of people I would say are my good friends. Its debilitating an i think I understand some of what you are going through. Bad work environments can be pretty destructive. Perhaps the act of looking and applying else where will help you feel better and may open an opportunity?
I like Visionary miss some of the unfettered joy of my 20s and 30s.
Some advise which may (or not) help you cope is.. look to the future, think about what you are going to do, it could be building a new house, buying a telescope or planning a holiday to somewhere exotic or taking up Judo or woodworking. It matters not what it is or what form, I just think don't dwell on the past. I also gravitated to an activity that invested nearly 98% of my brain while doing it in the form of computer gaming. It took me to another world and distracted me from my feelings about the present. While I am not suggesting being swallowed up by this finding something, perhaps just listening to music is another alternative.
alocky is right, we all need a few laughs. 3 Stooges anyone?
All the best from another Tim..
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