Several issues there. When I set up my 8" newt on the NEQ6 I try not to set neutral balance, you want a little weight on the gears especially on the RA axis imho. My process is to align with a 20mm ep, then do the alignment correction routine in Synscan V3.35, then when near 0'0" on both Alt and Az go to a bright star near your imaging target. Make sure your finder scope cross hairs are aligned exactly on the target star. If your not guiding then do a PAE on your star to set up the mount for that part of the sky. Then setup your camera and you should be able to focus on that star, lock your focuser at that point, obviously using a Bathinov mask helps with the focusing. Now goto your target. You should be on it and in focus. Do a few test subs and check them in Liveview screen model, you can tweak location alittle if needed, but if your setup star was centred then you should be ok. It helps if your target is visible to the finderscope but many faint objects will not be which is why we do test subs. If you start with fairly bright objects it helps learn the technique and you gain confidence to tackle the faint objects.
Good luck, its not easy at first but practice gets you there.
PS, if you cannot focus the camera on a bright star, or any alignment star ( which are usually bright) then you may not have the spacing right for the camera sensor. Your not trying to use an extension tube are you, as they are usually needed for visual use on imaging newts but not used for the camera.