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ZeroID
27-05-2011, 09:22 AM
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?


Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?



Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?


Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?


Why do they use sterilised needles for death by lethal injection?


Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?


Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?


Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?


Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?


What is the speed of darkness?


Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?


If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?


If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?


If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?


Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?


If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?


How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?


If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?


Why does a round pizza come in a square box?


How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?


Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?


If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?


Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.


Just food for thought, have a good weekend all. Clear skies. :D

Suzy
27-05-2011, 09:35 AM
:lol: :rofl::rofl:
That is prize gold, Brent.
My favourite because I do this myself, apart from beating it, shaking it, rolling batteries inside it, you name it. For all the effort spent doing that, just replacing thie things would be so much quicker.:screwy::lol:

Did you make this up yourself?
They are really good! :D :thumbsup:

Ric
27-05-2011, 11:21 AM
Good value. :thumbsup:

There are a few there that have me thinking over my morning coffee. :question:

And yes, I'm guilty of the flat battery in the remote syndrome. :lol:

leon
27-05-2011, 11:53 AM
Excellent, stuff, I have heard some of them before, but not all.

Leon

Octane
27-05-2011, 12:12 PM
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

H

astroron
27-05-2011, 12:40 PM
Some food for thought there Brent:question:
Cheers:thumbsup:

Jeffkop
27-05-2011, 04:33 PM
If LSD makes you see things .. why dont they give it to blind people ????

bloodhound31
27-05-2011, 04:56 PM
You can check your remote by pointing it at your phone camera.