Support Group for those with "AAS"

[jjjnettie]

"AAS" Anti Astronomy Spouses
Winge and vent here.:thumbsup:

[Omaroo]

Not a problem for me any more Jeanette - mine up and left. My interest in astronomy had a lot to do with it.

Oh well - much more astronomy now. :doh:

[jjjnettie]

Mine has asked me to cut back to just one night a week and give IIS a rest for a while too.

[Benno85]

I'm a major recipient of the AAS Syndrome. More than anything the one thing that annoys me the most is the fact that I don't try and force my wife to spend hours outside with me or have any interest in astronomy, yet she feels the need to continually abuse and put me down for having an interest.

Yes my timing could be better, we have a 3yr old son and number two is on the way, but still, where does the line get drawn??

P.S. I absolutley love my wife, just wish she could be a bit more accommodating.

Benno!!

[pgc hunter]

I'm single so I can do and buy whatever I want :D

[Benno85]

:bowdown:

[jjjnettie]

So I'm taking up SN searches so I'll be outside even more and won't have to hear him complain.:lol:

[Ric]

I'm lucky, my lovely wife encourages my hobby and then suggests that I should hurry up and build the observatory so I'll be more comfortable with my imaging.

Cheers

[Octane]

+1 for being able to spend what you want, do what you want, when you want. :D

Regards,
Humayun

[jjjnettie]

It's hard, having small children. She'd be feeling jealous that you have time to have an outside interest while her life revolves solely around the kids and the house.

[jjjnettie]

My beautiful observatory after 2 years, still sits in 2 pieces in the front paddock. The dome part is home to tree ferns.:(

[renormalised]

Well, I have no problems in that apartment....I'm single as well. However, i do have some strong feelings on this. If they're whining about it all the time and want you to give it up or cut back, throw down the gauntlet. Say, "Ok, I'll cut back, but only if you...<insert something they like/do here>...stop/cutback on this". Which is fair enough, but let's see just how long they'll go for, if they do anything at all. Problem with people is, if you ask them to do something, they'll get on their high horse and go to town on the issue, though it's nothing but them being overly selfish. Even if you did cut back, I'll bet that what they want from you, they end up forgetting about anyway and they stay the same miserable lot they were before.

[toryglen-boy]

"She who must be obeyed" is wonderful, and very encouraging of anything i do.

She did get a bit put out that i was out there all night, so as a compromise, i setup remote access with VNC to the controller laptop, so i remote control it with EQDIR and SKY6, and take images with the Canon software .... without having to move my behind from the couch

cuddles, smooches, and imaging


hoorah !!

:P

[sheeny]

Back in the '80s my then wife started out supportive, but ended up being an AAS. Apparently I wasn't spending enough time inside... (at least I was at home!:P) The pressure eventually got so much I sold the scope and got out of it (I wasn't doing much by that stage anyway). It didn't help, we ended up divorced anyway:rolleyes:.

My currently partner, Lyn, has no interest but seems quite supportive. I guess I still suffer from the "once bitten twice shy" syndrome though... I keep waiting for it to change... Hopefully it won't though:). I am very careful not to just assume I can do too much.:whistle:

Al.

[Benno85]

My nightly schedule usually goes something like this:

Home at 6pm, dinner by 7pm, play time with my son and then put him to be by 8:30pm, in between all of that there is cleaning up/folding washing etc, and the tv is ALWAYS on to whatever my wife wants, so she's usually tuned out to most of what's going on.

Then she kicks a stink when I want to head out the back as she goes to bed, playing the classic "we never spend any time together"......WELL TURN THE DAMN TV OFF!!!!!!!

Geeze it's good getting this stuff off my chest, cheers for starting the thread Jeanette!!!

[FredSnerd]

Hey Ric, I reckon you got the bestest Avitar. Where'd you get it?

[Gallifreyboy]

Well Jeanette, as a male I perceive you do have some bargaining power with regards to withdrawal of various privileges for your spouse that a family friendly site such as this will not discuss further ;). Don't give up what you love, just find a balance where everyone (especially you) is happy. :) Life is too short to deprive yourself.

[kinetic]

Ohh JJJ :) <swoons>

Do you like Adelaide weather? :)

Seriously, I'm lucky, I've got a supportive partner.
She lets me just do my thing with no complaints.
But I'm realistic, I never let it take over my life so much
that my kids suffer or she feels left out.
I think if you let any hobby do that then you're just plain
self centred.

Having said that it would be heaven to have a partner that
shared the same enthusiasm I have for it. Nothings perfect.

Steve

[DJDD]

i think i remember when you bought the observatory and so I thought it would be up by now. :( maybe too many SN searches? :lol:

still, tree ferns probably like a shady place to grow.


or am i mixing that up with someone else on the forum?

[renormalised]

I'll bet she's never bothered to ask you what you'd like to do...I also bet she's never bothered to even ask what it is you do with the scopes or even have a look through them. I also bet that if she did look through the scope and saw something spectacular, you'd never be able to drag her away from the eyepiece.

[Hagar]

I am one of the very fortunate few by the sounds of it. Both my kids have finished Uni and have moved on to work and the like and I find myself wondering why I am allowed to spend almost whatever I wish, within reason and she is more than happy for me to spend hours outside on my own. She maintains I could be in a pub spending hours away and spending heaps on booze etc so I guess she knows where I am and what I'm doing. When it comes to star parties etc she is happy for me to go and enjoy myself while she stays home with the dog. (New Kid)(Big sook).
She is not at all interested in astronomy but is keen for me to get the most out of what I do.
Does she truely love me or is it a matter of while outside I leave her alone? Don't know but it seems to work for us both.

[jjjnettie]

I'd never use THAT as a bargaining tool.
But as you said Life is Too Short.
If you can't spend that time doing what you love, you may as well just give up now.

[Benno85]

Too true mate. I think there is an inkling of potential with her though....

Often when the three of us are outside at night (mutliple loads of washing, woo hoo....) I'll ask my boy "where's the Moon" or "what's that bright light?", he goes crazy and falls over from looking straight up, and SWMBO will chip in and say "the bright light is Stupider"....

We're having a birthday party for our son in a few weeks, I'll be breaking out the cannon and letting all the kiddies have a look, hopefully she'll jump on as well!!

[toryglen-boy]

A strange expression, that has always puzzled me.

Life is the longest thing that anyone ever does, ever.


:lol:

[renormalised]

It's age, Doug. Once people reach a certain age, they become comfortable with things, with the way their life is. They know their partners love them, even if they don't share that many interests. You wouldn't have gotten married if you didn't love them and by the time you get to the stage I mentioned, you know yourself everything is OK. It's only those people who are still in that "needy" stage of things that end up going through the rough stuff, wanting all the time and not being prepared to give a little in return. You can't stay under 40 (mentally or physically) all your lives. It's as the say, it's the quality not quantity that matters, and in any case you can't live in one another's pockets 24/7. That would drive you insane!!!.

[astroron]

You've got a good thread going here JJJ:)very enlightening:thumbsup:

[DJDD]

supportive and depressing
depending upon where you sit in the equation
:lol:

[jjjnettie]

I was given the observatory by a kind gentleman. The other half didn't want me to get it, but i got it anyway. Unfortunately, I couldn't do the work on it that it needed. So there it sits

[renormalised]

Well, mate, once all the excitement dies down and you clean up after the party, drag out a chair or two, grab her and take her out to the scope and sit out there for a few hours and chill out. Whack a barlow and a 10mm ep in the cannon and point it at "stupider" and a few other targets. Let her do most of the looking. I think she just needs some encouragement and a warm arm around her to cheer her up and get her interested. I think if she appreciated it she'll come around. Before you know it, it'll be you getting dragged out to have a look at something she's found then you'll have to pry her eyes off your scope. She'll come home from work late one night with a sheepish look on her face, and when you ask where she's been she'll say "Oh, just drove past bintel on the way home. I saw a really great barlow...and bought a few things...". Then when you go to see what those few things are and find two WO 158mm refractors, two QSI 583WSG's in the back, and an order form for a 20" Planewave CDK and Sirius Obs' School Model Observatory in the glove box, you'll know where the money in the bank went:P:D

[jjjnettie]

It helps to know that you're not alone in your situation. And if venting here can save an argument at home, that's even better. :)

[jjjnettie]

:rofl: You're so funny Carl.

[astroron]

There are some benefits in being single:D

[Benno85]

Carl you're a champion, that's a bloody crack up mate and I just got a funny look at work for having a chuckle at this!!

I nominate Carl as the IIS AAS Mediator!!!:thumbsup:

[DJDD]

that's right- i remember.:thumbsup:

[DistroMan]

I got an ex racehorse years ago and Anne washed and fed him. Changed to a smaller mare after a while and Anne loved nothing better than to wrap her arms around her and give her a cuddle. She cherished my horses more than I did.

I wanted to take up bicycle riding, so of course we bought two and rode everywhere together till our bodies told us one day that we were going too far.

I joined the local Family History Society and Anne has been on the committee with me for most of the time. About 8 years now I think.

I joined the local Historical Society and Anne has sat in on more of their meetings than I have.

I joined a local political group and I get reminded that 'the meeting is on tonight, are you ready' because Anne likes to go as much as I do.

Eventually found the local Astronomical Society and said I was going to the next meeting. I could hear the sigh in the background and I immediately thought it meant 'here we go again'. But it wasn't a sigh. It turned out that it was more of an 'Oooh'. After the first meeting I said I wanted to join and got told to make it a family membership. Anne has never missed a meeting or a viewing night with me.

As far as buying equipment, the discussion is usually, 'have the bills been paid?'. 'Yes'. 'Ok then'.

Jealous much? :thumbsup:

[jjjnettie]

Very.

[FredSnerd]

A match made in heavan as they say

[DistroMan]

Anne's my bestest buddy. :rofl:

[Jen]

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
Well now thats something i sure could do in a flash if the funds were there :rofl::rofl:


Im lucky cause im the boss here so i just do what i wanna do :lol:
If im outside freezing my butt off they all come and and see me every now and again have a quick look through the scope then run back inside again. Or i just wait till they all go to bed. Hubby is a truckie so i spend 5 nites a week doing what i like anyway :)
:whistle::whistle:

[h0ughy]

had no idea Chris - is it permanent????

Ahh yes - been down that track, several times.

Well some know that i have had several run ins - even a threat to leave. working things out a little however the latest is in bed before 10.30pm......damn hard i can tell you........

however it is an obsession, not a hobby:whistle: so i have been told....

[renormalised]

10:30pm....that would be almost impossible for me. If I went to bed that early, I'd end up staying awake all night, anyway. Unless I was sick, of course. I normally don't get to bed until midnight - 1am.

[jjjnettie]

:lol: Yep, I get the "early nights" thing too. Plenty of time to sleep when yer dead eh David.;)

[h0ughy]

:rofl: exactly.

doing it at the moment to keep the peace, and its nearing full moon:whistle:

[Jen]

:lol::lol: me too sometimes longer if there is people in the chat room :rofl:

[Gallifreyboy]

You haven't been dabbling in cloning by any chance Trevor?:whistle:

[Omaroo]

Unfortunately, yes David. I have the divorce papers she's given me on my desk ready to sign. It's the very, very last thing I want to do. :( I'm keeping myself incredibly busy (including putting together this IIS compendium) so that I don't go start raving mad. Dad died at the beginning of this year too - so this is the classic "annus horribilis" for me. I want 2009 gone... these events are some that I don't talk about with many. I consider you bunch my friends, so here I weep.

Flip side - I'm going to have me a ball. I've worked very hard, so when I sell the house I'm going to buy myself a fricking expensive car, have a fricking expensive holiday and then build a fricking expensive observatory in Cooma. Stuff it! LOL! My time now.

[FredSnerd]

Thats a bad run Chris. Sorry to hear it

[Omaroo]

Cheers Claude. It's not a year I'd care to repeat.

[PCH]

Chris,

a horrible time indeed by the sounds. But FWIW you can never tell what's round the corner. I wish you well, and my advice would be that EVERY cloud has a silver lining - though you may not see it yet.

Sorry - didn't mean to HJ the thread ;)

[jjjnettie]

Onya Chris.
Let us know when to come down for the Observatory Grand Opening.

[Octane]

Chris,

:hugs:

Chin up. :)

Regards,
Humayun

[Gallifreyboy]

Chris, the offer to have a drive of my yellow vehicle in Perth remains. A lot of people you will never meet appreciate the work you have put in with the compendium and contributions to the forums on IIS.

Peter

[jjjnettie]

:lol: Full moon does have it's advantages. Tee hee, they don't even realise we can't do anything too productive during this cycle. We'll just keep that little secret to ourselves eh.
But I'll be disappointing him next week. I'll be at a friends Obs for Tuesday afternoon/evening, then after that I'll be pretty full on making a start on my newest project. Then I'm away at Barambah in 2 weeks for 3 nights. But I'll take one or both kids with me so he gets a break too.:)

[Omaroo]

Thanks guys - I appreciate the thoughts. As I said, this all happened in February, and I don't talk about it. You're the first. I don't, as a rule, air my issues with people, but this thread begged for a true story that may have been the result of obsessive behaviour on my part. I eat, sleep and breath this wonderful hobby - so you guys who are married, consider yourselves on notice. Treat you wife to your time. Nothing is more precious. I suspect that I may not have, hence all this.

Peter - thanks, and same for your offer to drive the Maserati. As I said, I'll run in the XK (or XF - don't know which yet) with a good drive to Perth - and we'l compare notes! :)

[h0ughy]

I am sorry to hear about that Chris, I hope that things really do work out for you through this time.

[Omaroo]

Tell you what Jeanette - bring yours down on a flatbed and we can open that! :) :thumbsup: :D

Thanks David :)

[Benno85]

Mate, my my most positive thoughts are with you, and I personally feel privaliged that you felt comfortable enough to share this. There's a cold beer with your name on it at my place anytime :)

And not quite an XK, my SS is there for a fanging as well :D

[Jen]

:lol::lol: Now thats the sprirt on ya Chris go for it buddy :D

Big hugs to ya ((((hugs))))

[marki]

Had a few lumps and bumps in my time as well Chris. I have always found that time is the best medicine, chin up mate our thoughts are with you.

Mark

[Omaroo]

You guys are simpy the best. Thank you. I feel much better tonight! :thumbsup:

Sorry Jeanette - I seem to have highjacked your thread.. :doh:

[Redshift]

Yikes! I've just taken up this hobby. I'd better be careful.
And what was that look I got all about when I suggested an Argo Navis for father's day? Hmmm.
:whistle:

[acropolite]

HRH shows a passing interest, even extending to coming to Astrofest. She does however, get very "edgy" about my on line astronomy activities.

[AdrianF]

I don't have this problem my wife is very supportive and actually encourages me to get out and have a go. Marg also comes out to the scope to have look at what I'm doing ( probably making sure I'm not perving on the neighbours). Believe it or not she also encouraged me to come up to Duckadang as I almost chickened out coming up. The only thing I have to watch is spending too much money Marg don't mind me spending as long as I need it and not just a want and it gets discussed first, fair enough and it works both ways. We both have expensive hobbies me and astronomy and Marg with machine embroidery and other handcrafts and we both have motorbikes both expensive to maintain.

Adrian

[jjjnettie]

Nothing to be sorry about Chris. This is what this threads about isn't it?

[jjjnettie]

Phil, you're fortunate in that you can combine your visit at Astrofest with visits to family and friends. It was lovely to see both you and Liz again. So sorry I left without even saying goodbye. My mind was on other things Sunday morning.

[erick]

My lovely wife is not anti-, but doesn't understand why I like. She has quizzed me closely and has come to the view that it maintains my sanity so OK. Simultaneously she seems to accept that it is an incurable mental instability on my part - the word "crazy" comes out several times, but lovingly, thank goodness. The expenditure, however, can become an issue........

Also fortunate that we have "abandoned" the children - they can look after themselves now - so only two of us at our home.

[GrahamL]

If your intrest has moved from visual to photography is there a change in the time spent outdoors ?.. while I sure don't know for sure I do see a lot of stareing at laptop screens for long periods through the night
with photography , followed by long periods of stareing at them again
through the day to make things better ?,If there is any truth in that
couldn't imagine a partner really thinking thats a really positive for any relationship .

Bit o comprimise works well at times :)

[marki]

Automation is a wonderful thing ;).

Mark

[jjjnettie]

Astro photography does take up significantly more of your time than Visual. I guess one must question ones relationship if you find that you prefer looking at a computer screen to interacting with your partner. I know what i prefer.

[mithrandir]

You're forgiven. Getting something off your chest can be one of the best steps to recovery. In the last month, I've lost a sister, one of my workmates his father, another his mother-in-law, and another is off with family for her mother-in-law's last few days.



Back on the topic.

SWMBO Version 2 is not interested, but only objects to the $$$$$$$$$$$, not the time. She did let me buy my C8 as a birthday present to myself. The half a dozen eyepieces, Barlows, 2 focal reducers, flip mirror, DSLR, CCD, guide scope, 3 cases and a cabinet to put the lot in caused a number of words.

I still need a right angle finder, another CCD and another flip mirror. There are more cross words in my future

While out walking the dog, tonight she noticed there was "something bright" close to the moon. There is still hope.

[Davros]

I am kinda lucky, she wanted to turn the garage into a media room and i stuck an old 1949 landrover in it and half pulled it apart. Then i keep taking off for work, uni or camping and she doesn't give me too much grief. Its only when i buy new things for the toys that she cracks it. I am about to off load some shares though so i am contemplating new toys.
So when is the working bee at your place JJJ to build your Obs.

[Octane]

Probably because I'm not married, I don't understand...

But, do you work for your money, or, do you have to sign a clause when you get married, that, whatever you earn is split in two?

It's your damned money, you should be allowed to spend it any way you want, so long as the bills are paid!

Also, buying astronomy gear is much better than pissing your money up against a wall or wasting it on gambling.

Regards,
Humayun

[GTB_an_Owl]

Oooooooooh! you have a lot to learn "H"

unless you want to stay single that is :whistle:


geoff

[AdrianF]

I agree that we do work hard for our money but........ Marriage is a partnership and everything is a shared commodity. My wife works hard too 5 days a week and before she starts work she as to travel 90k each way Roma to Mitchell and then as to put in an 8 hour day as an Archive Officer. So the way I see it is Marg and I have every right to know what the other is spending before it happens if its a large sum of money. We have been together now for 32 years and we find this works well for us.

Adrian

[jjjnettie]

:rofl:
Then there's always the old, What's mine is mine and what's your's is ours. That kinda strains things too.

[iceman]

LOL Poor H, so much to learn young padawan :)

Unfortunately it's never as easy, or as black and white as that.

My wife doesn't "work" - or I should say, doesn't get paid by an employer. But staying at home and looking after 3 kids and the house, while I'm gone for 12 hours a day, is damn hard "work".

On the odd occassion I've had to stay at home and do the "mr Mom" thing, I can tell you it's no easy job!

On topic, my hobbies are never hobbies. They turn into obsessions. So it makes it harder, especially when I have more than one going at once.

My lovely wife has no interest in astronomy but I'm pretty sure she understand why I love it. I'm pretty sure she thinks it's better than my previous obsession of "online games". LOL

[lacad01]

Sounds like your situation is pretty similar to mine Mike :)
Wifey doesn't mind my obsession with astronomy so long as there's a balance, bills are paid before spending on the next gizmo, etc. I also have the added bonus that my youngest loves to look through the scopes at any opportunity :)

[erick]

Had to take my wife to the airport for an early flight this morning. In the car she admitted that the almost full Moon and Jupiter low together in the western sky was indeed "Lovely" :)

[Darth Wader]

I have actually been feeling very guilty about the hobby recently. My wife gave birth to our daughter 8 weeks ago, and whilst I help out wherever possible, I just don't feel right getting up at 4am to stargaze while she's feeding our daughter (I'd gladly do it and give her a break, but she's breastfeeding). Same again when I had a great chance to view Mercury as the Sun was setting the other day and she was inside giving our son his dinner - I quickly had a look at it, then packed up and came inside out of sheer guilt. I recently joined my local Astro society and couldn't make my first monthly meeting because the kids were giving her hell, and I just didn't feel right leaving her in that situation on her own.

Am I nuts, a good husband or just a sucker?:shrug:

[erick]

Children are now, cannot be put off for the future. Stars and planets will still be there when your time comes - promise!

Spoken by someone who wasn't addicted to stargazing through raising children, so what do I know :shrug:

[jjjnettie]

You sound like a good husband Wade.
Family first.
I always make sure the kids are tended to before going out to the scope.

[wavelandscott]

What a compelling thread to read...

I count myself in the fortunate column in that I have a generally Astro-supportive spouse...

I work hard at the office and then I try hard to make a contribution at home before I sneak away to the night sky. From time to time if the sky looks clear my wife will even encourage me to get my toys out.

I do restrict most of my viewing to the weekends and include my boys when possible...it seems to work for us.

[jjjnettie]

One way to share Astronomy with the kids is to get them into iridium flare and satellite spotting. Download an ephemeris from Heavens Above, lay down a tarp for the kids to lie on, then point out where to look in the sky. It can be very exciting for them. The tension building as the time get's closer. Then screams of "There it is!!". Brilliant!

[Omaroo]

Apophis?

[jjjnettie]

:lol: Do you like the sneaky way I'm training all the neighbourhood kids to keep an eye out?

[AstralTraveller]

My wife and I had met casually at a BBQ but several months later we met at a display the astronomy club had on campus during O week. Suddenly she found astronomy _very_ interesting and visited the display every day. That was the start of our 31 years together.

With that as a begining she was never going to object to my hobby. For many years she came along to a few observing nights and enjoyed looking at the pretties. (She found nights when I decided to track down the faintest galaxy possible a bit tedious.) A few years ago she decided to take the hobby seriously and is now the secretary of our small club.

We also now have his and hers scopes - more or less. I tend to get the 'unwanted' scope! We first bought a 15cm refractor with goto but she found it too difficult to set up and her idea of learning to sky by watching where it pointed just didn't work (told her so). So we got a 25cm dobs and a laser pointer and she is now learning her way around the sky using that. Except of course if she feels lazy and then it's back to the goto, once I have set it up for her. This arrangement probably makes observing more work for me but I am not complaining. We like doing things together (eg camping, bush walking, bird watching). The only passtime I won't share with her in bicycle riding; she is just sooo slow - every 100m I have to stop and wait minutes for her to catch up. I think she must get it stuck in reverse!!

[mozzie]

well jjj im one of the lucky ones my little lady supports me in doing something instead of sitting and watching tv had no probs with me buying a pod im using the scope more no setup time the kids come down have a look so does elise the hole family is coming to iisac this year they all love to camp but there has to be a medium i still do things with the family last camp to minnie waters no scope at all just family time
mozzie

[DavidU]

My wife is pretty good really she sit's on the bed and goes on Facebook while I'm in the lounge room on IIS (yes I email her sometimes).
She wanted me to buy a scope again after selling all my gear years ago to pay for school fees etc. Kids are a way more expensive hobby than astonomy LOL

[ngcles]

Hi Jeanette & All,

First up, thanks JJJ for starting such an interesting and in many ways "courageous" thread.

Chris, I'm sorry to hear about your split-up mate. Divorce is one of the most stressful events in life and wish you well. Hope it's as amicable as it can be in the circumstances.

Having spent twenty years of my life in courtrooms as a prosecutor, I've seen hundreds that go really bad and in those situations there is only one winner -- the lawyers.

The hatred, the revenge, the tit-for-tat and the violence is hard to watch. Could I tell a story or two about that!

So far as you possibly can mate, make it amicable and look forward to better times down the track. They will come.

Back to the subject at hand.

Boy do I envy you guys who have ambivalent or better supportive spouses.

No such luck here.

We're often in a state of "limited war" or at best a cold truce over the subject of astronomy. Whether it's time or money or lack of attention or ... something, it’s rarely a happy subject around the dinner table.

Things are less tense nowadays than they were say fifteen years ago when my daughter was young but still, it's a rare occasion when anything astronomical is "encouraged". I have never once missed a family event, school event, medical appointment etc etc the whole time my girl grew up (no, not even a single one) but was often accused of giving the family the "spare-time". My "jobs" are always done, the bills paid, I'm good with helping with the housework (no I really am) but that seems to cut no ice -- at all.

Money spent on astronomy used to be a difficult subject too. I am very, very fortunate that I've got a couple of small part-time "astronomy jobs" so whatever I've spent on astronomy, five or six times more from astronomy has gone into the kitty over the years.

I think for many of us, the art is negotiating a balance that will limit at least the arguments (... thank you Captain Obvious). Easier said than done and what works for one, won't necessarily work for all.

My best mate (apart from my wife who I still love dearly despite all this) Gary owns a 20" and is in precisely the same boat as myself when it comes to spousal relations. We frequently commiserate with each other over the subject.

At least it's good to know we're not alone ...



Best,

Les D

[renormalised]

The thing that really annoys me with people is their insistence of having you to do all the bending and swaying whilst they remain rigid in their attitudes. Now, I'm not married, but I've been in a few relationships in my time. Most have split amicably but not over astronomy. However, I feel that if you really love something you shouldn't have to give it up just for their sake and they shouldn't insist that you do. If they do, then ask them to give up on something they love as well and you'll hear howls of protest and self righteous indignation. But then you'll see just how long it will last if they do take you up on it...not very long at all. Yes, any relationship is about compromise, give and take, but not to the point where either or both of you end up hating one another, or it's just a silly game of power playing. Sometimes I wonder whether it's worth it, getting into a marriage with someone, given all the rubbish that seems to go on between people, but if you're lucky enough to hit on that happy medium then it is. Usually when there's a dispute over a cherished hobby or whatever, the problem is much deeper seated than what it appears and not necessarily to do with the subject at hand. Only that it is acting as a catalyst for whatever else is wrong.

[multiweb]

Very interesting thread. I thought I was the only one walking on eggs :lol: Sorry to hear about all your ordeal Chris, but things will get better and the stars will always be there. :thumbsup: On my end I try to stay out of trouble :whistle: while not giving up too much and make a stand when I need to. Got to make time for everything though and family comes first. :)

[RobF]

I count myself as one of the lucky ones I guess - my "special one" is happy for me to head out once we're all fed and the young ones are in bed. My "2nd coming" to Astronomy has fitted really well with a young family while giving Dad an outlet and chance to hang out with others and their "boys toys".

One problem I do have - my wife likes me to spend whatever I like on astro gear - 'cause then she can go spend the same on herself! If only we had the money to make that work :lol:

Now - I wonder if I can swing a full week for Astrofest next year.... :whistle:

[Ric]

Hi Claude, I found it doing a google search for squirrel images and it just cracked me up as well.

Cheers

[stephenb]

:lol:

I'll jump in here after an exhaustive, but enlightening read. Struth, we all seem to have our ups and downs and our fair share of bad runs (I hear you Chris, more power to you, mate)

My wife is also very supportive, but not really interested. Mainly because she just cannot cannot stand the cold air and temperatures. Sometimes standing out in the Winter night, I don't blame her. I wouldn't call myself obsessed with the hobby, but I have been interested in it for a long time. But family and then my work committments, come first - hobbies are a distant third.

My wife is very talented in craft and card makeing (she makes personalised greeting cards and invitations, sometimes dozens a week) and her domain is in her well-equipped craft room, which as more craft supplies than a Lincraft store:rofl:

Sometimes, I just prefer to sit in the lounge with here and our 6yo princess as a family and forget the hobbies and enjoy life.


ditto Rob, it's a nice arrangements, isn't it? ;)

Thanks for a wonderful thread guys.

p.s. Rick, you have the most talked about avitar in this country!

[AstralTraveller]

At home my wife is the same. She'll be wearing a jumper and uggs while I'm in shorts. But once she is out under the stars she is frost proof. I used to pack it in before her. I now have the problem sorted. Freezer Suit!! See the wise old owl.