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View Full Version here: : Completely OT- The Middle Wife


AdrianF
14-08-2008, 12:31 PM
This was emailed to me this morning I thought it was funny

Well,one day this little girl,Erica, a very bright,very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'

'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.'(Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)
'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case she got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)

'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe.They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there.'
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.

Adrian

Jen
14-08-2008, 04:05 PM
:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
how cute :thumbsup:

PCH
14-08-2008, 06:34 PM
A gem ! We were rolling over laughing. Thanks for posting.:rofl:

garyp
14-08-2008, 08:24 PM
:lol::lol::lol: It is funny.:lol::lol::lol::thumbsup:

Gary

Ric
14-08-2008, 10:58 PM
Brilliant, kids always call it as they see it.

Cheers

csb
15-08-2008, 10:17 AM
A bit weird and contrived. Not true I'd say.

Do you all believe this is true?

I ask this sincerely because these types of stories are pointless to me (actually annoying). I think concocted just to get in print (pre-Internet) & get a laugh.

I mainly hate that it is written as if it actually happened.

Readers Digest has some sections of supposedly true life stories but again most seem made-up.

And this story is quite easy to shoot holes through.

AdrianF
15-08-2008, 10:26 AM
Its a story written to get the endomorphines going to give you a laugh. Whether its true or not it is still funny and it got the desired effect for at least a few.

Adrian

Ric
15-08-2008, 08:15 PM
True or not, it was a good laugh. It would not surprise me to see kids describe things as they see it.