Log in

View Full Version here: : An engineers analysis of Santa Claus


iceman
16-12-2004, 03:06 PM
There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not usually visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau).

At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes presuming there is at least one good child in each. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical).

This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that
for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get onto the next house.


Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household -a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks.

This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second--3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the
fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, and moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.

The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself.

On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them---Santa would need 360,000 of them.

This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the
sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch). 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft reentering the earth's atmosphere.

The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.

Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.

Merry Christmas!!!

:lol:

loopy
16-12-2004, 10:35 PM
Hahaha mate this is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time... maybe even better than the "Is Hell endothermic or exothermic?" one :D

Cheers,


Brad

rumples riot
16-12-2004, 11:03 PM
That was a crack up, but surely you have seen " the Santa Clause". Everything is explained really well. Everything is done by magic, so Santa would not require that many reindeer, or that speed. He has the ability to create a time dialation somehow, to get around the world in one night. At least thats what I think or maybe he has a black hole coming out of his butt. This would explain a lot of how he does his job.:eyepop:

So did that diatribe come out of your mind or did you steal ( I mean borrow) it from someone else? :whistle:

Anyway it was really funny and hopefully there aren't any kids here to lose the magic of Santa.:D Afterall, it is a holiday to celebrate the birth of Christ not Santa. But that is a subject best left alone.

Happy holidays to you all and safe travel, watch out for big red lumps of goo falling from the sky.:P

Paul

loopy
17-12-2004, 04:50 PM
Hey I forgot to share my own - best ever Christmas quote, from the insanely funny "Family Guy" series...

Doctor: Well Rudolph, we finally figured out what makes your nose red.
Rudolph: Is it pixie dust? Or, or leprechaun tails?
Doctor: No, its a tumor.
Rudolph: You mean, like a magical christmas tumor?
Doctor: No... a malignant tumor. The base of which is lodged deep within your brain.
Rudolph: Oh. Like a happy special...
Doctor: You're going to die.

:D

Cheers,


Brad

ving
17-12-2004, 04:56 PM
what?:mad2:
are you saying that santa doesnt exist?:eyepop:

:(

"lies made baby jesus cry..."

silvinator
17-12-2004, 06:16 PM
That was hilarious iceman! :D You've gotta love the logic of science. But I can't imagine explaining all that to my cute little 7 year old cousin who still believes in Santa :confuse3:
Sorry Ving, but 'tis true. There is no Santa :(
I remember something about Santa being able to slow down time in some midday christmas movie I saw last year on tv... but it's all fuzzy...things get like that when people start talking about physics... :confused:
lol loopy, that's tragically funny!

rumples riot
17-12-2004, 06:41 PM
This reminds me of something my nephew said to me last week. He is ten years old and I asked him what he wanted Santa to bring him. He promptly announced that Santa does not exist and that it was just Mum and Dad putting presents under the tree. He then told me he had already told his brothers who are all younger than he is, that Santa did not exist. What ever happened to the magic of Christmas and the innocense of youth?:ashamed:

I loved Christmas as a child and always looked forward to Santa coming and we even used to leave him a crayfish to eat and a glass of milk to drink. We thought that was:cool: I'll bet my parents that it was good too.

Now all I can think of is the :cheers: and beers that I am going to consume in the next three weeks.:D

Paul

silvinator
17-12-2004, 07:13 PM
Paul, that's kinda sad in a way. It does seem as though kids these days are a little bit more jaded. Two other eight year olds I know don't believe in Santa either. I never believed in Santa but I still felt a magical sense about christmas as a child and still do. Your kids will still have a love for christmas, but it's not all about Santa for a lot of kids nowadays. You can only make it more joyous and magical for them by encouraging other aspects of christmas like putting the christmas tree and lights up as a family - that to me is a magical experience in itself, with or without Santa. Just don't visit too many shopping centres in the one day...what got me as a kid was, how could Santa always beat us to the next shopping centre...
Enjoy the beers Paul :D