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leon
07-06-2023, 06:16 AM
Luckily there is a Woolies up the road …..

Last week I was at my local Coles buying a large bag of My Dog dog food for my cute ‘oodle and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What, did she think I had an elephant?
So, since I'm impulsive, like to have fun and as my wife says, “sometimes misread the room”, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Dog Diet again.
I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 10 kilograms before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
But I explained to her that it was essentially a perfect diet. The way it works is to load your pockets with My Dog nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, so it works well and I was going to try it again. (By this stage I had quite an audience building – I was on a roll.)
Her face was pale. She asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit me.
They had to call the first aid officer for the guy behind her who had such a coughing fit from laughing. Anyway, I’m banned from Coles, luckily there’s a Woolies up the road.


leon :thumbsup:

RB
07-06-2023, 07:40 AM
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Nikolas
07-06-2023, 09:05 AM
I'm surprised you then didnt cock your leg and pee on the ladys leg or worse didn't try to er........ do other things to her leg

sharkbite
07-06-2023, 09:29 AM
Hi Leon....does the woolies stock your brand of dog food?....

(and your dogs brand, for that matter?)

:lol::lol::lol:

leon
07-06-2023, 11:14 AM
Hi guys I thought you might get a laugh out of this but I wasn't the person who told this story, found it on the net.;)

I suppose know one will believe me anyhow :shrug: :lol:

Leon :thumbsup:

Nikolas
07-06-2023, 01:59 PM
Suuuuuuure you found it on the net

xelasnave
07-06-2023, 04:17 PM
But Leon I still don't understand why you buy dog food if you don't have a dog?

Alex

leon
08-06-2023, 06:19 AM
That is a very good point Alex, but then without the Dog Food this story could not have been told.:shrug:

Leon:thumbsup:

xelasnave
08-06-2023, 07:34 AM
Yes I can understand Leon...

Do you have any " without a cat stories" ?

Alex

sharkbite
08-06-2023, 09:03 AM
This story reminds me why a got a life ban from Bunnings....

...i mean its ok for Miley Cyrus to swing Nekked from a wrecking ball....

......luckily theres a Mitre 10 up the road....

RB
08-06-2023, 11:08 AM
While you're there.... buy yourself some flowers...

:lol:

Bart
08-06-2023, 11:19 AM
LOL, Leon, that is freaking funny as all get out! :rofl:

Best giggle I've had all week! :D

cdnetto
13-06-2023, 07:37 AM
now you'll be able to tell the joke in the woolies too!