dad jokes

[ving]

post your favourite dad joke...
definition for thoser that dont know what one is: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dad+joke



Q: whats brown and sticky?


A: a stick...

(you can almost hear the forum software groaning with that one...)

:rolleyes:

[erick]

Dad: My dog has no nose!

4 Yr old daughter: How does he smell?

Dad: Terrible!!

4 Yr old daughter: <giggles uncontrollably>


I could keep my daughter laughing for 20 minutes just going round and round with this one!

[Outbackmanyep]

Or......

Me: Daaaaad i feel like an icecream....
DAD: Thats funny...you dont look like one!

[duncan]

Dad can we go to the zoo today.

We don't have to go anywhere son, your mothers gone Ape since i bought the new scope.:shrug:

[ballaratdragons]

Fred: My Dog doesn't eat meat

Bob: Why not?

Fred: I don't give him any

:lol:

[nightsky]

G'Day,
Young boy's pup has just died.

Father: It's ok Billy,the little dog is with God now
Billy: What would God want with a dead dog!!

[Gargoyle_Steve]

(A man is in the Doctor's examination room)

Man : I have a terrible pain in my side.

Doctor : Does it hurt when you do this? (poking the mans ribs)

Man : Yes!!

Doctor : Then stop poking it!

:D

[Ric]

Q: What do you call a fly without wings?

A. A Walk

Cheers all

[fringe_dweller]

who could forget the classic..

it takes all night, to do what i used to do all night

[ving]

driving past a cemetary...

Dad: there's the dead center of town.
son: ... groan
Dad: must be popular
son: why?
Dad: cause people are dying to get there!

boom boom!

[Outbackmanyep]

What do you call a fly with a hundred teeth?

A zipper!

[Geoff45]

Did you hear about the guys who tried to rob a bank in Canberra?
They were caught in the ACT.

[styleman333]

An old guy is about to celebrate his 90th birthday , and all his mates at the nursing home decide to get him a hooker as a big suprise.
The day of his birthday arrives and theres a knock at the door . The old fella gets up , walking frame in hand and answers the door, There standing before him is a gorgeous blonde, huge knockers , dressed in a nurse outfit " Hi grandpa !" she gushes " im here to give u super sex !"
The old fella thinks for a moment then says " Great !, i'll take the soup !"

[styleman333]

Oh hang on , that may not be a Dad joke

[John Saunders]

Quick - pull my finger....

[freespace]

Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
They taste funny.

:D

[Ric]

Hi John, I nabbed my godson with that when he was about 6, he laughed so hard he wet himself now I have ammo on him for his 21st.:evil:

Cheers

[ving]

lol! is this thread still going! :)

[John Saunders]

Yep, Ric, that's right. There are a couple of things which are timeless when it comes to jokes - burps and farts! It doesn't stop with six year-olds. Try a class full of grade 8 boys...that's the main reason why smoking was banned in schools...the whole place would go up in one giant methane explosion.

The first time I came across the "pull my finger" joke was with Bill Cosby quite some years ago.

Cheers and happy joking!

[ballaratdragons]

True story - A group of Psychologists did research on what constitutes a funny joke.
Their research discovered that if you include a Duck in your joke, it is funnier! :lol:

And these guys get paid to find out these things? :screwy:

Lets test their theory:

Why did the Chicken cross the road?
It thought it was a Duck.

Nope, wasn't funny, and it had a Duck in it :lol:

[ving]

lol ken!

ducks huh... i'll have to work on that theory some time...

I do remember a joke about a duck who is an architect tho :)