Chinglish interpreter please help

[Shawn]

A ripper...how to change language menu on your new MP4 player

I think the manual regarding translation from chinglish was missing from the consignment...

nuts
I cant make sense of a single sentence, do you know how hard it is to drive one of these when the menu is in chinese.. :rofl:

And also see clause 1.16
And what is a simplified chinese character. do you mean there are harder ones,,,?? :scared:

[xelasnave]

Sorry its all Greek to me:D
alex

[ballaratdragons]

:lol: That manual you scanned in is a crack-up :lol:

[ving]

theres simplified chinese as well as standard chinese.

that manual looks like my standard post :P

[ballaratdragons]

How to placing with forum a response with follow postage enter:

1. Please to take buttons fixed and long throw to enter you into posting thread.

2. When typing have you alphabet bits manifest on video screen seen to be.

3. Longer towards waiting time also can other manifest the typing you to replying on behalf and over video screen also.

4. For it many manifesting is, more to manifest posting infinity can will be possible.

[Shawn]

Oh No its too much, nearly pooed myself laughing..

Seriously can you understand it or is it just me...

[ballaratdragons]

I can understand it Shawn. Takes a bit of thinking (which is hard for me) but it can be understood.

[Shawn]

This ones off a monocular


Warning: Please don't look at the sun absolutely. If you look at the sun, your eyes may be ache and blind sometimes.

[Shawn]

In Fact, There's something I would like to read ...
"Chinglish Warning labels on slightly less Innocuous items like lawn mowers, chansaws, and surface to air missiles....

[ballaratdragons]

:lol:

[norm]

You crack me up Ken !!!:lol: :rofl: :rofl:

[ballaratdragons]

On a chinese brand of toilet cleaner in Dimmeys/Forges:

"Please start with a clean toilet". :screwy:

[Shawn]

I think what they mean is dont look at absolutely or you might go blind, but only sometimes.

But Casual Observation is ok, but might make your eye ache...

:rofl:

[Shawn]

Ken

Stop it ,,Im hurting,

And my eye aches, from using the monocular:rofl:

[Shawn]

Anyway Ken
Now Im over my fit of laughter, WTF does it say,,?

"roughly"

[h0ughy]

RTFM, try to think beyond the square andthen say them wif raccent an you will get the message

[Shawn]

i thought " Oh no not the houghman replying to the thread" but its ok really. think outside what square, What if i try and OCR it in chinese...:D. will that work...:P

[Shawn]

Allright Ive got a few weeks to spare, what does
"While holding most five, such as not enough five, while show, depend on arrange" mean

first paragraph first chapter, shouldnt take long to decifer it hey ...LOL

[Harb]

Always cracks me up when I think of the instructions on the back of a dayco fan belt packet.

Directions.

1. Turn engine off


:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Shawn]

what..?????Now Im really starting to hurt:rofl:,,,who started this thread..Oh thats right I did...Damn...Good one :rofl:

[h0ughy]

probrally:lol:

[h0ughy]

are you apinting the dome in apxoy (:P ) paint, the fumes may be affrecting you;)

[Shawn]

Houghy you rascal, Its finished No more fumes and Im fully aware of my extremities now....:P

[ballaratdragons]

OK, Shawn,

Here's what it says:

The systen enactment:
-While holding most five, such as not enough five, while show, depend up arrange.
-Triangle designation of for activate a name
- Press Menu key will choose and enter that options
- Short press PLAY key and will withdraw the menu
1.5.1.3.Key function
1.5.1.3.1.Short Press or press down the NEXT, blue carry bottom on blue's back tread into bottom move, arrive most next turn over behind on hold, keep till the last on hold, then turn over to then return to the first to hold. Show to should of activate the diagram mark, and change solid hour function.

etc etc.

Makes perfect sense to me :P

It means "Press anything and see what happens" :lol:

[h0ughy]

see works for ken, he types with his toes you know;)

[Shawn]

Ok press everything at the same time, and gradually work down to pressing a few in random order, and see what happens , right,,

Well ,,,Why didnt they write that,,,??? :lol:, would have saved a tree..

[Shawn]

Ok aside from a hernia from laughing so hard, this bloody mp4 player is still in chinese, thanks for the fun" now i know why I visit here" thanks guys, have a good working week "im on holiday":P..

All the best

S

[Shawn]

There is only one "L" in probraly houghy..

[Ric]

Then theres the instruction manual translated into English for a blender which read
"Please remove fingers and genitals from blender before activating"

There are people who must lead very interesting lives that's all I can say.

cheers

[ballaratdragons]

Holiday?????

Hmmm, that means you have time to come to 'Snake Valley Astronomy Camp' :lol:

Starts this Friday!!!!!!! ;)

Weather report is very favourable.

[Shawn]

Its a long way from here..I would love to come and meet you guys, next time maybe.

Thanks.

Im going to read the instructions on my blender right now though..:eyepop:

[mickoking]

I guess thats why China is cryin' out for English teachers :rofl:

[Shawn]

How Much do they Pay,, more importantly do you need to speak chinese, and are the skies clear..??

[ballaratdragons]

Not much, yes, and no. :lol:

[Lee]

That's good advice.

[mickoking]

1. 4000+ yuan a month, free accomidation.
2. no qualifications
3. Avoid Sichuan, its famous for it cloud :lol:

[Shawn]

Oh well. I have no idea what 4000+ yuan a month is, and besides my grasp on english is tenuous at best,, but writing manuals, I can that do...

[Shawn]

Maybe ther is room in the marketplace for someone to write a better manual on products shipped, just by using trial and error,,Like" press all the buttons, stick you genitals in the blender, change the fan belt with the engine running"
etc It would have to better yes. might pay to use a stunt double though...:lol:

[ballaratdragons]

Shawns Manual for your MP4

1. Turn the blasted thing on :thumbsup:

2. Press the little red thingy :thumbsup:

3. play with the other coloured thingies until sounds can be heard in the haedphones and pictures can be seen on the screen. :thumbsup:

4. Go out and buy some headphones :doh:


:lol:

[johnno]

Hi All,

Very good re the Chinglish,I had quite a laugh,

The Chinese Antique Dealers on Ebay,are a scream,

IE,
"you buy this Rare Chinese Necklace/whatever for your girl,She will be good to you"...

And heaps more,along the same lines,Had Kathy,and I in Stitches.

Regards.
John

[Octane]

All,

www.engrish.com

On a more serious note, China is willing to employ over 1 million English teachers prior to the Olympics.

I did the TESOL course and was considering teaching English in Europe. In the meantime I got a job with the federal government.

Regards,
Humayun

[nightsky]

G'Day Sirdystic
I thought I may have be able to help you, but after reading the instructions it looks like it's in Manderine and I only speak Orange :P BTW 4000 China Yuan is about $662 Aus,they must have the same idea as Little Johnny and his Industrial Relations :)

[Shawn]

662 a month,,,,yooowww. thats not nice at all. Anyway I figured out the first bit It means

Hold down all five keys at boot up ....ta da.

Now the next bit.:screwy:

[Ric]

Hi Humayun,
That's awesome to employ a million english teachers before 2008.
They are really serious about turning on a good show for the Olympics.

cheers

[xelasnave]

I heard China turns out 1m engineers each year could that be correct?
turns out = graduate not before finish understanding of information not previous to view of application made to complete course.
alex

[Ric]

Talk about not understanding instructions, have you heard of the urban legend regarding the Winebago motorhome. The story is that a gentleman is driving along the highway in his motorhome switches on the cruise control and then goes off to the back of the vehicle to make a cup of coffee. :scared:

the motorhome runs of the road and into a tree, the gentleman in question then promptly sues Winebago on the grounds the instruction manual was not clear and he thought that cruise control meant everything.:screwy:

He wins the court case and gets a new Motorhome and Winebago rewrite their manual to specify that you must not leave the drivers seat or let go of the steering wheel whilst vehicle is motion. :P

Like I said, this is a urban legend and we can all believe everything that is on the web :whistle: , but somehow it would not surprise me if it were true coming from the land of sue everybody and everything.

cheers

[Kal]

Most excellent picture make immensely laughing :lol:

[xelasnave]

Hey talking about sueing people.... whilst the other are still busy with the manual ... I was called upon to advise a young fella only last week (at the wrong end of the battle)... Amount being fought over $20k to $30kk ...judgement for the plaintiff came down at $30,000..costs on one side only (have yet to find out ther other sides costs) was $650,000-00.:eyepop: :scared: ... I think he is a criminal lawyer if you take my meaning;) ...
Free advice is not always good advice but....dont sue, if sued pay up, never go to court if you do get a firm statement of costs in advance in writing from your lawyer at the very first conference and have another lawyer check it.:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
The system sucks...so dont get sucked in..
Lawyers motto .."we will fight them to last drop of your money"
Alex's motto..Dont take legal action take pump action"".
If I have offended any lawyers great I really mean it do your worst.:thumbsup:
alex

[Shawn]

The topic wandered off a bit didnt it,,,But great reading anyway. Havin a good chuckle here..

As for the Winabago story, Now thats a whole different language alltogether, and I doubt has any chinglish in it..Must have been written in the American language, a vague derivitive of English. No Offence intended fellow western Astronomers...

:)

[xelasnave]

When the cats is a way the mice will play;) .. you cat me mice:D ... enjoyable thread and is that not what the general chat forum is about:) .
alex

[Outbackmanyep]

if it sounds like greek then it must be......:lol:

[ving]

much like this (http://www.silverladder.com/literature/chinglish/chinglish.htm) no doubt :)

[Shawn]

I was looking for something like that,,, how did you stumble across that one..


I hope it was by accident, either that or you know the entire internet off by heart,,:D

S