Terrible, terrible chemical joke

[AstralTraveller]

Q. Why does a beef pattie have less energy than a steak?

A. Because it is in the ground state.


I assume this is a very old joke, but I've managed to avoid it until now. :lol:

[barx1963]

Oh dear oh dear! That is awful, and I know awful jokes!!

[xelasnave]

I think that is a great joke but many may miss it.

[leon]

Yea I missed it all right, :lol: it is awful :rolleyes:


Leon :thumbsup:

[clive milne]

One atom to another:

Damn... I think I just lost an electron.

>>> Are you sure?

Yes, I'm positive!

[Atmos]

Oh no... Dad jokes everywhere ;)

[Stonius]

The Tachyon orders a beer. A Tachyon walks into a bar...

[barx1963]

Please make it stop!!:P

Malcolm

[redbeard]

:screwy: Sorry in advance.

A Higgs Boson walks into a bar with a sad look on its face and the barman says, "What's the matter?"



Part 2...

He was then feeling a little empty in life so he then went to mass.

[tlgerdes]

This one is a little risque, but what the heck.

Title: A Sexual Encounter between a Capacitor and an Inductor

One evening, with his charge at full capacity, Micro Farad decided to get a cute coil to discharge him. He went to the Magnet Bar to pick up a chip called Millie Amp. He caught her out back trying self induction; fortunately, she had not damaged her solenoid. The two took off on his megacycle and rode across the Wheatstone Bridge into a magnetic field, next to a flowing current , to watch the sine waves.

Micro Farad was very much stimulated by Millie's characteristic curve. Being attractive himself, he soon had her field fully excited. He set her on the ground potential, raised his frequency, lowered her resistance, and pulled out his high voltage probe. When he inserted it in parallel, he short-circuited her shunt. Fully excited, Millie cried out, "ohm, ohm, give me mho". As he increased his tube to maximum output, her coil vibrated from the current flow. It did not take long for her shunt to reach maximum heat. Now with the excessive current shortening her shunt, Micro's capacity rapidly discharged – every electron was drained off. But that was not the end of it. Indeed, they fluxed all night, tried various connections and hookings until his bar magnet weakened, and he could no longer generate enough voltage to sustain his collapsing field. With his battery fully discharged, Micro was unable to excite his tickler, so they went home. A few weeks later, they were merged forever and oscillated happily ever after.

[silv]

:rofl:

[Visionoz]

:thumbsup: +1

[SimmoW]

I admit I don't fully understand all the theories but still find the jokes hilarious! Esp the last one.

[speach]

boom boom!!!!

[Geoff45]

A ghost walks into a beer hall and orders a rum and coke. The barman says "Sorry, we don't serve spirits here"

[wavelandscott]

You can never trust an atom...

They literally make up everything...

[gaseous]

If a man speaks in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?

[iborg]

"If a man speaks in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?"

My better haf likes this one, and said 'of course!'

Philip

[CJ]

What does a sub-atomic duck say?


Quark.

[The_bluester]

I have to save the (Age appropriate) ones here to trot out against my 8 year old as dad jokes.

[Neutronstar]

Q: What is 1 x 10 to the power -9 and Sings?
A: Nano Mouskouri

Q: What is 1 x 10 to the power -10 and Plays the Trumpet?
A: Louis Angstrom

[Stardrifter_WA]

Three chemists are sitting around talking. One chemist asks, "would you like some H2O?" Yes, said the second chemist, to which the third chemist said" I will have some H2O too. He died!

Heard this one at uni the other day. Didn't initially get it until I remembered that H2O2 is Hydrogen Peroxide.

[Neutronstar]

11 cheers for binary

[el_draco]

You may have heard this:

Photon walks in to a hotel and books a room. Receptionist says, "Do you have any luggage", to which the photon replies, "No, I'm traveling light..."

[PCH]

Hi Peter,

Welcome back. Hope you're feeling better. Best wishes :)

[Stardrifter_WA]

Thanks foe the sentiment Paul, but I am not really back, just checking in on IIS for a change. I am very busy doing a Bachelor of Arts at Murdoch Uni. Keeping the brain engaged in others thing at this time has been really good for me.

Cheers Peter