PDA

View Full Version here: : How does your partner react to your astronomy hobby ?


Starkler
03-09-2006, 11:30 AM
I don't think anyone has surveyed this aspect of our hobby here before, and I would be interested to see the results.

For those in fear of retribution, theres no need to post a comment if you dont want to :lol:
This is a secret ballot ;)

xstream
03-09-2006, 11:37 AM
I think you already know my answer Geoff :lol:

All I need to do is win tattslotto to pay for her habit/obsession. :scared:

Starkler
03-09-2006, 11:37 AM
Oops I forgot to leave an option for the single people :ashamed:

wavelandscott
03-09-2006, 11:47 AM
I'm rather lucky I guess...my wife generally supports my hobby approving expenditures (generally) as they come up...I ticked that she does not participate but that is not strictly true...she will always come out into the yard to have a look if I am at home but rarely travels to see stuff with me.

As important as that is, of more imporatnce to me is that she heartily encourages both of our kids to enjoy the hobby too...allowing the occassional "stay up past bed time" event to keep everyone excited!

[1ponders]
03-09-2006, 11:54 AM
My biggest problem is she keeps enouraging me to buy things I can't afford :D

ving
03-09-2006, 11:58 AM
i cant find my anwser there... cheryl generally supports my hobby but has zero interest in it, it bores her. she approves most expenditures, but that mainly because i dont go overboard... there are times where she get really upset if i desert her and go out with the telescope and there are times like last night that she practically tries to push me out the door (unfortunately i was too tired to go out).

its completely variable.
so therefore i cant pick one as options 2, 3 and 4 all suit :)
not trying to be difficult here of course :P

Starkler
03-09-2006, 12:05 PM
Paul you're really trying to stir up trouble here aren't you? :rofl:

acropolite
03-09-2006, 12:20 PM
HRH Liz fits the first category.....sometimes. She will occasionally take a peek and is fascinated with Saturn but most of the time is content to let me observe alone.

[1ponders]
03-09-2006, 12:33 PM
Who me? ;)

Wombat_In_Space
03-09-2006, 01:14 PM
I had to select number 1 we need an option for she occasionally comes out to view.

CoombellKid
03-09-2006, 01:29 PM
And gay couples :lol:

You also missed the option which more suits me, She'll come out in summer
but not winter and fully supports my hobby... well I try to make it our hobby
but I'm not pushing it. She's come around from being pretty much dis-interested.

regards,CS

Rob

leon
03-09-2006, 01:48 PM
My Alice fully supports, my hobby, but is not interested herself, and never ventures out with me, unless i come in from the dark all excited and ask her to come and have a look at this.....
Her electric blanket in winter is much more important than stars.
However i buy, sell and trade my gear as i see fit within reason, and she never questions what i do with my stuff.

Astroman
03-09-2006, 01:57 PM
Well my wife generally doesnt care about my My Astronomy hobby but does say a fair amount when new opportunities come up in the purchasing area. She does like Saturn and a quick look at a comet or so but doesnt spend any time with me.

Striker
03-09-2006, 04:07 PM
My wife does not mind this hobby but she does restrict my time during the week so no late nights for me on a working week.

Also she does not like me spending a night away doing this hobby but I am trying to find a drug that will cure this reaction.

Otherwise she is my soul mate...love for ever.

h0ughy
03-09-2006, 04:16 PM
well enough said really, I think my stance and support is well known!

Omaroo
03-09-2006, 04:23 PM
Jenny wasn't overly interested in it until we bought a scope. Now that I've shown her how to GOTO, she's ripping along. I'm generally very lucky - Jenny supports everything I do. We share most hobbies, so she makes sure that we budget so that our hobbies still have room. I'm very happy with all of this mind you. :thumbsup:

Ric
03-09-2006, 04:39 PM
Kee quite enjoys coming out and having a look and is comfortable using the GOTO, but she tends to disappear during the winter months and leaves me to it.

cheers

Lee
03-09-2006, 05:53 PM
It was my partner who suggested I just buy the G-11..... :D

iceman
03-09-2006, 06:18 PM
Replace hobby with obsession, and I chose option 3 :)

Rodstar
03-09-2006, 06:31 PM
Option 3 for me too.

Nina is very happy for me to go out observing most of the time because she is not a night person....early to bed for her most nights. Sometimes I can even set up the scope, come in for a "cuddle" ;) , and then go out to observe.....how good is that! She is happy that I have made a good bunch of friends doing something harmless and fulfilling to me.

BUT, she could not be any less interested in the hobby herself, and that frustrates me greatly because I would very much like her to feel the same buzz I feel from observing a distant galaxy, or splitting a close double. I console myself that with time she will warm up to our great obsession. I suppose with a 20" mirror coming soon she may finally come out and at least look through the EP!

In the financial department, we have our ups and downs with expenditure on astro gear. She responds better when I give her fair warning (eg incessantly discussing Obsession DVDs for weeks on end), than if I just show up with $900 worth of eyepieces (as I did last year, and ended up at the therapist with her!) :P

mickoking
03-09-2006, 06:47 PM
I chose number 2. Pammie is quite happy for me to spend some time with one of my 'scopes and doesn't have any major issues when I buy stuff, but she doesn't participate very much with observing which is a shame coz she's got great observing eyes. Pammie was very supportive when I decided to donate my 250mm Dob to our local primary school rather than trying to sell it :thumbsup: The only rub is she is not quite as supportive of my more radical ideas like moving abroad when I finish my TAFE course.

spacezebra
03-09-2006, 07:05 PM
Now that we have all heard the guys point of view.... (this is a long one you may need a coffee)

I think that it is a interest where both parties can benefit. While David does not share my enthusiasm, he does enjoy the camping and social aspects of the interest, to which I encouarge that he come along and meet the gang.

Its not all astronomy, and I must admit that I enjoy the social side of it as well, this web site is a good example of the social aspect. It is also about meeting people, and sharing ideas and projects, and if the partner is feeling leftout bring them along and incorporate into experince something that you can both do, its all about balance eg. incorporate a picnic or a walk together and take time out to enjoy the scenery before getting into observing, set some limits and IMO you can reach a happy medium.

David loves the fact that he can help me nut out any tech issues that I have - and likewise he comes out now and then to have a squiz at what I am looking at.

Since taking this interest more seriously, I must admit that I have found it to be a very male dominated interest, my astro society is a good example and seeing this from a female perspective it could be perceived to be a "boys club" (no offence guys), which has deterred women I know from joining. While it has not deterred me personally, I can see that even some web sites, and not excluding this web site (no offence Mike) could be perceived as very male orienatated as well - guys out number the women in terms of membership and no female moderators, so in effect it could be argued that a boys club has been created. This is not to say, this is what has actually happened, just to say it would be good to see more women involved.

Anyway, off the feminist soapbox

I have a bank account dedicated to telescope supplies and a set account is saved each forntnight, so nothing gets purchased until there are enough $$ there to afford it, and it does not impact on the day to day stuff primarily because it is budgeted for, so no savings no EP's.

Thats about all.. (edited for clarity)
Cheers Petra

Starkler
03-09-2006, 07:20 PM
Petra, going off topic a bit I don't perceive any intent to make IIS a boys club in any way. Certainly when amateurs of the female gender join up and post they are welcomed just as heartily as males. It just seems to be case that ladies interested in astronomy appear to be few in number.:shrug:

As for myself, I chose option 4 but I dont have a current partner.
The ex had a predisposition to jealousy if my attention was directed at things other than her :rolleyes:

The results so far seem to indicate that most of you have it pretty good :thumbsup:
I think being "astronomy friendly" will have to be a pre-requisite of any future partner i happen to get :lol:

spacezebra
03-09-2006, 07:28 PM
I totally agree that it is not the intent - but what I was saying is that it could be perceived to be, by partners (looking at it from a women's (partners) perspective).

The imbalance is sad, I also agree and yet there are so many talented/intelligent female astronomers out there - and not necessarily in the public eye, and encouraging women into this field.

Sorry - off the topic a bit

Cheers Petra

cahullian
03-09-2006, 07:32 PM
My missus doesn't understand my facination (especially in winter) :cold:but tolerates it without too much fuss.

johnno
04-09-2006, 01:27 AM
I have to admit,
Kathy,is not all that interested,but will come and have a look at something interesting,if I ask her,would she like to take a look.

She supports me in my interest,in this hobby,and the many others,I am in to.

We have NEVER had any harsh words,over any of my hobbies,so I guess I am one Lucky man.

Having been very happily married over 32 years,we still love each others company,and have learnt to respect each others space,as well.

Regards.
John

astro_nutt
04-09-2006, 07:29 AM
I picked number 2..my wife understands that I can enjoy my hobby/science/leisure activity without being too much of a burden on anyone!!...and some nights when conditions are right..she will drag herself away from the heater for a peek at the eyepiece until she starts to shiver!!..(I might invest in an electronic EP so she can watch it on TV!)
She is very supportive and copes well with the chaos I create in the workshop..and the hours I spend looking up info...plus time spent observing up the bush..
I'm lucky to have someone like her!!

ving
04-09-2006, 10:15 AM
and to show how variable it can be....

last night we had a little discussion:

me: "I want to upgrade my mount some time in the future..."
her: "is that before or after you get a DSLR?"
me: "before, the mount i want cost a little less anyhow"
her: "youre not spending a grand on just a hobby, it not like you are professional or anything"
me: "er... thats a realatively cheap mount!"
her: "well you didnt ask me first, what happened to discussing first?"
me: "i think you only heard 2 words didnt you? "new mount". the rest of the key words were "want" (not "i am getting") and "sometime" (not "now")... we are discussing it now."
her: "oh, ok..."

*sigh*
she was quite happy for me to let me out to use the telescope tho :)
I think shes just alittle afriad of expenditure ATM as moneys a bit tight.

anna
04-09-2006, 11:40 AM
Just to set the record straight.
My beloved "tech support" would not be complete without his daily
fix of IIS.

rogerg
04-09-2006, 12:24 PM
I'm quite lucky. My partner likes the outdoors and country, but not the cold. She'll find me new locations to observe in the country where she can photograph the native critters and I can do observing, works out very well.

She only views stuff when there's a group around and she can be chatting to someone (I'm usually quite absorbed in it, and busy telling the scope what to do, so not good company).

She makes a point of mocking the names we give objects, referring to any globula cluster as "A sneeze" and in particular 47 Tuc as "the sneeze", Rosetta as "the skull" .. and I can't remember which she thinks is an elephant... it's makes it entertaining anyway :)

As for buying stuff etc, she's a little more tough on that, but only as far as is practical - we do need to pay off the house after all. I tried to sell her the idea of a $90,000 Allira 20" system on the weekend, she didn't give me the OK :sadeyes:

The biggest problem is when I want to observe late and go to bed at 2am, waking her up. Do that a couple of nights in a row and I'm not too popular. :whistle:

Roger.

Shawn
04-09-2006, 05:15 PM
Mine reckons I should take up something cheaper, like fishing...thats great coming from someone that collect horses...:lol:

[1ponders]
04-09-2006, 05:28 PM
I think that's a good idea Shawn. How much is a 35 ft cruiser with twin 5 litre V8s pushin' it :D

fringe_dweller
04-09-2006, 05:39 PM
the missus isnt a problem, I find friends and aquaintances can be the worst - typical bewildered response 'you are unable to attend my/our *insert momentous important occasion* because you are going to be looking at a dot/smudge in the sky instead!!!???? whaaa!!'

Shawn
04-09-2006, 06:10 PM
Good point Paul, when you put it like that..

Id say about the same amount as four horses.. So I still win ...:D

jjjnettie
04-09-2006, 06:35 PM
Options 3,4,5 and 6 just about covers the range of feelings at our place.
Oh well.

ballaratdragons
04-09-2006, 10:03 PM
Cheryl is very supportive of my Hobby. And she encourages our boys too.

As for herself, she likes to come out and look at certain objects (even in the cold) but it's not a hobby that she is into herself. She does enjoy looking at things though.

She always asks if our SVAA nights were good, or if we found anything new and exciting to look at. She LOVES the pics posted in here, and reads thru my Astro Mags.

She also likes the friends we have made thru Astronomy. :thumbsup:

I have not ticked any boxes above as I am in between 1 & 2.

gaa_ian
04-09-2006, 10:55 PM
I chose option #3, But I must say SWMBO is keen for me to get the kids involved !
& she did fuel my obsession in the first place !
Little did she know the monster she would create :eyepop: .

OneOfOne
05-09-2006, 09:14 AM
My wife is quite supportive, she loves it when we have friends or neighbours over for a squizz. She loves to roll off her little "buzz words" ("the rings of Saturn are wonderful", "you will love the Jewell Box", "the moons of Jupiter are great"). In fact, she is the one that suggested we need to extend the house so we have somewhere to store the scope. Currently it sits in a box I made for it and sits on the floor at the back of the house. If the door is open, you can see it when you look down the hallway. She reckons it "looks like a coffin".

We have been away once with the scope and was really keen to invite the couples in the neighbouring self contained cottages for a look one night and loved the experience! Actually, that was the night I proposed to her!

We sort of have our own "spending money" and I say nothing when she gets new clothes or her hair done, and she says nothing when I get a new eyepiece.

Maybe that is why I married her?

Lee
05-09-2006, 10:48 AM
I've got a plywood box my father and I made for the Dob.... it looks like a small coffin! You should see it on the roofracks.... even has handles on the side for ease of tying down.... does look spooky.....

Odlaw
06-09-2006, 08:14 AM
As I am just getting back into it. She at this stage is supportive, but uninterested. Since I have been showing pictures of the scope to family and friends, I have had many requests for viewing nights. My brother in law, father in law, family friend and neighbour have all said I wish I could get a scope.
I may have started something.

By the way, 10 days untill pick up.... getting more excited.....

GrahamL
06-09-2006, 10:05 AM
Option 3 this morning.. but have since borrowed $150 off her for an eyepiece purchase..There did seem to be sufficant cash left in her account for the shopping trip to the goldcoast on the weekend that was mooted as haveing to be put off because of my moneygrab, so still hopefull of option 3 this afternoon.. but as ving points out .. things are often 'completely variable' so 5 and 6 are still an outside chance I guess... so with that in mind order was placed soon as I got
the loot:)

ving
06-09-2006, 10:12 AM
yes nightstalker, completely variable... i was talking to the boss last night about future purchases... she pretty much oked a 12" GSO dob or a new mount (heq5,orion sirius or similar size as long ad price is kept down). but i said to her "thats in the future" (that said she said i should try and knock down teh price of the 12"er in the for sale section here if it doesnt sell soon :P).

dont know if i am coming or going sometimes! but she's top quality :thumbsup:
thats why i love her :)

OneOfOne
07-09-2006, 08:00 AM
Maybe you should give it a bit of a polish up and stick some plastic flowers on top, maybe drive around with your headlights on too. You will be less likely to get cut off or suffer road rage! I made my box with the intention of just putting it in the boot, made it custom so it would fit. First time I put it in, I realised I didn't allow for speakers sitting down into the boot. After some fiddling I got it in to find I couldn't shut the boot. Then I couldn't get the thing out! So I had to unscrew the lid in the boot to make it low enough to get it out...:mad2: Ended up just putting the tube in the boot and chucking a blanket over it...now I don't even bother with the blanket.

Tamtarn
07-09-2006, 09:12 AM
Our venture into the hobby started when David gave me a Skywatcher 70mm for my birthday last year. One look at Saturn and we were both hooked.
Five months later we got the ETX125 and then the 12" Dob.

As some members know from some of our previous posts on IIS we both thoroughly enjoy our hobby, although David seems to come and go on some cold nights into the warmth of the heater and IIS forums whilst I'm the crazy one outside in the freezing conditions for hours :cold: totally mesmerised by what we can see with the simplicity of a Tube....Two Mirrors....and a Magnified Eyepiece.

Barb & David

Robert_T
07-09-2006, 01:58 PM
I've answered that she mostly tolerates it and is uninterested, but the last month or so with my Jupiter imaging window compressed into tea-time it's drifted into the "begrudges" category:P