Heya Mark!
Not sure if its of comfort or not, but you're among many who have been exactly where you are! Great news is that you're going to nail it soon and it will be awesome.
There is another thread about Phd2 guiding fairly recent here, search that up and see some very detailed step by step instructions.
(edit, here :
https://www.iceinspace.com.au/forum/...d.php?t=184597 )
Calibration is necessary, and a decent polar alignment is too. But yes, find that thread (actually there are many of them here on Phd2) and follow those instructions. There are lots of small details that can trip you up, but you'll work through them.
For what its worth, it took me a month of trying and failing with guiding, and I was close to giving up and throwing everything off the a nearby cliff... and that just made my first guided session all the sweeter.
Stick with it, you'll look back on this and regard it as a tiny bump on your expressway to awesome pics