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OKay first of all the 400D is not a piece of crap, most of the time it is the operator.. If you can use it for general use then most likely there is nothing wrong with the camera.
Second Aperture is not 'bulb' If its connected to a Telescope it will show up as '00'
Bulb is under the Manual 'M' Setting, which can be set by the Dial on the top of the camera. If your only shooting 5 seconds you wont get much on the sensor, you need longer exposures. You need to polar align your telescope, if its an Alt-Az scope then forget long exposures. Check that you can focus the camera also, some scopes do not have enough travel on the focuser. If your trying things out try on JPEG mode WITHOUT noise reduction on.
Also check you have the Lens cap OFF your scope.
Forgot to mention try doing some testing during the day, or on the moon, its bright enough now to play with the settings.
Forgot to mention also, dont point it anywhere near the sun or you will fry the camera, then it wont work at all.
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