To keep it simple for me, I set up camera 1 as imaging (QSI583) and camera 2 as guiding (QHY5). So for you, camera 1 would be QHY9 and 2 would be Lodestar. In your setup tab, camera 1 should have the QHY9's filter wheel, camera 2 should have no filter wheel. Sounding like you had the QHY9 filter wheel set below the Lodestar camera, which is easy to do I guess if you have lodestar as camera 1.
The "LRGB" option in the expose window is just a preset, it doesn't necessarily mean that it's a LRGB camera attached to it. Create your own presets as needed. All fairly simple. Suggest you read the manual on that.
MaxIm is great and doesn't sound like it's at fault for any of your hassles above. Don't give it 0/10 before you even know how to use it.
Regarding dithering, you might be interested in DitherMaster. Never used it myself, just heard of it.
http://www.cloudynights.com/ubbthrea...8a14bca7f38376
http://www.skymonsters.net/software.php
http://www.cloudynights.com/ubbthrea...sed/sb/5/o/all