Hump day Joke

[bartman]

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely
silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,

'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, Given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.

[Baddad]

:lol::lol::rofl::rofl::lol::lol:

That's gotta be one of the classics. Headed for the "Blonde Joke Hall of Fame"
NFOCL (Nearly fell off chair laughing)

Cheers to you Bart

(I'm still smiling over that one)

[midnight]

Love it!

Darrin...

[Stardrifter_WA]

A couple of guys where out on the second fairway on a golf course, when one turned to the other and said " I am dying for a cigarette and I haven't got a lighter"

The other guy says, no worries and pulls out a 12" BIC lighter. The first guys goes "wow :eyepop: where the hell did you get a lighter like that?"

The first guys says "from my genie in my golf bag." "What genie?" says the second guy, sarcastically. The first reply's "tap on the side of my bag and you'll see"

The second does so and, pooff, out pops a genie! The genie says "quick you have got one wish and make it snappy". The guy goes "umm umm, I wish for a million bucks." The genie says "wish granted" and disappears.

The guy is looking all around for his million bucks and suddenly realises that there a million ducks flying overhead. The guys says "what's going on here, I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks".

The other guy says "Sorry, forgot to tell you the genie is hard of hearing. How do you think I ended up with a 12" BIC"! :lol:

[FlashDrive]

Awesome ... :rofl: Tell that to a Blonde and she'll ask you ... what do you mean... !! :D

Flash :D

[Baddad]

Smart Blonde?

Last year, I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive, double-pane, energy-efficient kind. Today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He complained that the work had been completed a year ago. and I still hadn't paid for them. Hellloooo,............just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I told him just what his fast-talking sales guy told me last year... ….that these windows would pay for themselves in a year. Helllooooo? It's been a year, so they're paid for, I told him.There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally hung up. He never called back. I bet he felt like an idiot.

[bartman]

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: at Peter, Colin and Marty:thumbsup:
Great follow ups!
I got one more :
Why was the blonds belly button sore?
Cause her boyfriend was blond!
Bartman

[FlashDrive]

A Blonde and a Brunette were walking down the street ... and suddenly the Brunette say's ... ooooh look ... a dead peewee ... the Blonde looks up and says ...where :D

A Blonde secretary was seen repeatedly hitting the ' escape ' button on her keyboard ...and was heard to scream out .. ' why am I still here ' :D

Flash :hi: :hi:

[traveller]

he should have asked for a 12" pianist...

[brian nordstrom]

:lol: , Blond night ,,
" A blond was driving down the road and seen two other blonds in a row boat rowing really fast in the middle of a ,,,, paddock ! .The first blond pulls up and shouts , You 2 are the reason Blonds have a bad name !! , if you dont stop now ,,,, I will swim out there and kick your butts ."
Brian.

[FlashDrive]

Not quite a Blonde joke but never the less ...!!

A guy is in hospital and is ' coming out ' of the anesthetic he was given and see's his wife at his beside and say's:

"Hello Beautiful " ... he then drifts back to sleep.

Well his Wife was ecstatic ... He's never called me beautiful ... oh.. !!! how wonderful .... so she stays a while longer .. and he " wakes up '' again .... and upon seeing her again ... he say's:

" Hello Cutie " .... and is about to " drift " of again ... when his wife say's:

What happen to " Beautiful " .... He answers her and says:

" I think the drugs are wearing off " :rofl:

Flash :hi:

[blink138]

a woman is standing naked in front of a full length mirror looking rather glum, next to her is her disinterested husband taking no notice, head stuck in his newspaper
she says in a voice meant to be heard "look at me, im fat,ugly and unkempt!"
she spins around angrily and declares "you are a b@$*@$d of a husband, you never compliment me on anything!"
without taking his eyes off the newspaper he says "ok, you have got good eyesight!"
pat

[Baddad]

My last astronomy related blonde joke:

We all hear about UFO's and smart blondes
Never see any.

[Stardrifter_WA]

A traffic cop was about to knock off and was on his way back to the station when he noticed the car in front was speeding.

The cop pulled the motorist over and said " listen, I am just about to knock off, so if you can give me a good excuse for why you were speeding, I will let you off."

Without missing a beat the motorist said to the cop "officer, I am sorry for my speeding, but my wife left me for a Police Officer and I though you were him chasing me to give her back!"

[omegacrux]

A blonde goes to the doctor and says I hurt here pointing to her knee and here pointing to her elbow and here pointing to her shoulder , the doctor looks and says you have a broken finger !

[Stardrifter_WA]

What do you call a smart blonde?

A golden retriever.