For Alex

[FlashDrive]

"What am I supposed to do with this?" grumbled a motorist as the policeman handed him a speeding ticket.
"Keep it," the cop said, "when you collect four of them you get a bicycle.":lol:

A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer were asked "How much is 2+2?"
The housewife replies: "Four!"
The accountant says: "I think it's either 3 or 4. Let me run those figures through my spreadsheet one more time."
The lawyer pulls the drapes, dims the lights and asks in a hushed voice, "How much do you want it to be?":rofl:

A client of a hospital where they made brain transplantations asked about the prices.
The doctor said, "Well, this Ph.D. brain costs $10,000. This brain belonged to a NASA top scientist and costs $15,000. Here we have a policeman's brain as well. It costs $50,000."
The client asked, "What? How's that possible?"
The doctor replied, "You see, it's totally unused.":lol:

A policeman caught a nasty little boy with a penknife in one hand and a squirrel in the other.
"Now listen here," the policeman said, "Whatever yo do to that poor, defenseless creature I shall personally do to you."
"In that case," said the boy, "I'll kiss it's butt and let it go.:rofl:

Col....

[xelasnave]

Good on you Col.
Come on everyone tell us a joke.
Poor Col has had a brush with death...do you know how many people are killed going to the doctor ...well if there were figures they would be alarming.
Thats why we have figures...just look up the statistics on being hit by a meteorite qnd see how you sleep.
Thats my problem ..I always think I am that thing that makes up the small number of folk who die in a plane crash...and given the way I have dipted into my luck bank I recon its best I stay inside.
I was out last night...and there was the possum...well no one dies of rabies from a possum cause they are not out there...so maybe its me..and thecway that possum looks at me it is as if he is thinking...this must be one stupid human out here alone and an attackable face. I I recon I can take him hang on to the beard and power in the rears on the eyebrows ..dont mess with the possum.
So make someone laugh and tell a joke or encourage them that they are the best check out girl who had ever come back to see your telescope.
Must eat and sleep.
Up at 1 am to hunt photons.
When you get on you realise although they really ate not free due the the farming equipment cost they are so neat to own.
I wish photos could be numbered so you couls show a list...I recon I have photos no one else has.
And the older the better...what is the oldest photon you own?
Alex

[xelasnave]

You know I have been coming to this super market for a while and you are always so nice so I would like to invite you to come and look at the Moon thru my big scope it is an event that only happens once in a life time ( heck I cant image anyways) and please bring your Mom and sisters...
Get astronomy out there.
Alex

[SimmoW]

Some funny jokes Col, thanks!